On the morning of the triathlon, I woke up to rain and cold. I figured they would have to cancel or modify the event somehow. By the time I made it over to the event, the rain had slowed to a drizzle but it was still cold. They announced that they would be changing the event to a run bike run. My heart sank. The swim is really my only strength. I'm actually rather good at that portion and I had been excited about being able to start with some success before I got passed by everyone on the bike and run. Well, no such luck. Instead, I had to run twice.
I despise running! It hurts my shins a lot and I have yet to get past " the wall" where you don't want to quit with every stride. I always want to quit. To start off with a one-mile run was just not good for me mentally. I switched from thinking I was going to compete to thinking it was just something of a workout. Consequently, I was just never in focus mentally. I raced slower than I wanted, walked more than I should and finished feeling unsatisfied. My thought was, "If I am only competing against myself then I am not winning."
Who knows if getting to do the swim would have really made a difference. I can't be certain but I feel that it would have. Instead, I'm feeling like I didn't really complete a triathlon. I've been asked if I'll do it again and I am not sure. Part of me wants to so that I can have a better experience but part of me wants to be done and move on. I have a feeling life is going to get in the way of doing another one anytime soon. Maybe in two years.
I don't want to be a grump about the whole thing. I'll try to celebrate the small victories.
1. I did it. No matter what the outcome, I did at least finish.
2. I was able to run the whole last mile without walking. I even smiled when I ran by the photographer.
3. I felt lots of love and support from friends and family.
4. Best of all, I lost 20 pounds. I've got plenty more to lose but getting that first twenty off feels great.
at the finish with the other women in my ward who competed
